Random Outlaw

The More You Know...

Apparently I have been tying my shoes incorrectly for 25 years.  I had been reading jo(e)'s site, catching up on all her posts because I had gotten so far behind on reading her site that I had given up all together (sorry jo(e)!).  Anyway I found this post from back in November about how her shoes were always coming untied and I was nodding vigorously the whole time going, "Yeah, my shoes are always coming untied too!"

In the comments to that post someone posted a link to Ian's Shoelace Site where he explains the ins and outs (quite literally!) of shoe tying and how it is quite possible to tie a bow that will come undone quite easily, which I have apparently been doing for the last 25 years.

I have now learned a cool new way to tie shoes, which I intend to teach to the Moosh, mainly because that technique always creates a correct bow.

I feel 12 kinds of wrong.  I am totally going to give my mom a hard time for teaching me to tie my shoes incorrectly.  How could she? Damn you mom!!!!

El Scorcho (Ay, Carumba!)

On Sundays the Moosh and I go to my parents house first thing in the morning.  Now that he's on a normal sleep schedule compared to when I was working evenings, he generally wakes me up at 7:30 AM by jumping on me and yelling, "It's time to go to Grammie's house!"  Oy.

Thus awakened, I am usually on the road to my mom's house at 8 AM on Sunday. I have discovered a radio show that is on from 8 AM - 10 AM that plays retro alternative music from my youth.  That is, a song will come on that I haven't heard in 10 years, and I squeal like a little girl and turn up the volume.  The Moosh finds this Most Amusing.

I try not to dwell on the depressing fact that the whole reason they have this show on Sundays at 8 AM is because the people listening to it are Old.   In their 30s.  Married with children.  Then there is the secondary realization that I am one of those people. 

Anyway, the music, it is awesome.  And oh, does it ever take me back.  Why just this morning I heard this:

El Scorcho, Ay Carumba!
Goddamn you half-Japanese girls
Do it to me every time
Oh, the redhead said you shred the cello
And I'm jello, baby

In the days before digital music downloads, people bought CDs.  I bought the CD Pinkerton, by Weezer, which featured the above song (El Scorcho) in the winter of 1996 when I was working at Kroger in the floral department.  It was the end of my first semester of college and I had my car impounded a couple of days before the semester ended, thus forcing me to actually get a job and not just study.  The winter was cold that year and the floral department opened into the receiving area for the produce trucks so the big overhead doors were always open, so it was freezing. 

I spent my entire 3 month tenure at that job being frozen to the core, listening to Pinkerton,  and crushing on this guy who worked in the produce department.  Denton was, and still is, something of an artist's colony - lots of would-bes working day jobs.  The guy was cute, 10 years older than I was, and very serious about his painting.  I lurved him.

Not that it ever came to anything because I am the biggest chicken ever.  But still, random produce guy, may I say now:

How stupid is it? I can't talk about it
I gotta sing about it and make a record of my heart
How stupid is it? Won't you give me a minute
Just come up to me and say hello to my heart
How stupid is it?
For all I know you want me too
And maybe you just don't know what to do
Or maybe you're scared to say: "I'm falling for you"

Hope you're well, random produce guy.

The Shame Of It

I have the presets on my car radio set to a variety of music types.  Classical, Jazz, Alternative, a retro top 40 station (featuring pop/hip hop songs from the days of yore, a.k.a the 90s), and a current Top 40 station. I do a lot of channel surfing, and I don't have a ton of time to sit around and listen to music at home (sadly) so only occasionally do I make note of the name/artist of a song so that I can download it on itunes.

No, my normal course of action is to simply turn up the volume and seat groove to my favorites.  But recently there was this song that I liked so much that I made a note of the name so that I could download it at home.  Which I did.

It was only then, to my horror, that I discovered the truth.

I like a J u s t i n T i m b e r l a k e song. 

So. Embarrassed.

Technophile/Technophobe

Our home computer died on Thursday.  Both the system fans failed (I had suspected something was wrong with one fan for a while, but did nothing), and the whole thing overheated and shut down.   R flipped out and demanded that I fix it.  I told him that I thought we'd gotten our money's worth and that we just need to accept the fact that it's time for a new computer.  It's five years old, for cripes sake.  Computers aren't meant to alst forever.

Both of us are holding out on our repective positions, but I KNOW I am going to win on this one because I took apart the power supply (at R's request to try and replace the fan) and I broke it.  We can't replace the power supply because the goddamn manufacturer bolted the motherboard to a non-removable side panel of the case.  The power supply plug is stuck behind the frame for the CD-ROM and storage devices and I CAN'T GET IT OUT.  I carved up my hand trying and then gave up and told R that we were going to get a new one.  (Side note - if you know how to get it out DON'T TELL ME. I don't want to get it out.  I want a new computer.) 

It's difficult being a technophile married to a technophobe.  I go to my technophile friends' houses and they've got the sweet setup with a desktop or two and a laptop all running on wireless network and I wet my pants with jealousy.  Then I go home and boot up my super slow computer and surf the internet looking for sweet deals.  When I present said sweet deals to R, he vetos me by appealing to my inner cheapskate - our current computer works fine, why do you want to mess with it?  Because I do, OK?  That's what computer geeks do.  We twiddle, tweak, and constantly search for upgrades.  That is the raison d'etre of a computer geek.  He's a car geek, he doesn't understand.

The final humiliation came a couple of weeks ago when I upgraded my internet and TV service.  The service guys complained the entire time they were installing my service because my system is so slow.  I stood in the back of the room trying to defend my position, "Well, it is five years old, you know."  "Yeah, my husband hates computers, so I don't upgrade very often."  "I've been shopping for a new, tricked out system - as soon as I get my bonus, i'll be upgrading for sure!"  I went in to work that day and started searching for computers.  One of my friends came over to view my choices and asked me why I was in such a rush to find something new.  I told him the story about the service guys and he said, "Oh, I see.  The Verizon guys shamed you."  Why yes.  Yes they did.

When I broached the subject of a new computer to R, I included what I thought was the perfect bribe.  "If you let me buy a new computer, I'll take the Moosh to Iran this year."  At that time the desktop was still working, so I was angling to buy a laptop that I could take with me to visit his family.  He said no because he wanted me to pay for the plane tickets out of my bonus and doesn't understand the concept behind mobile computing. "How can you take the computer with you to Iran?" Sigh.

But now, the old warhorse is dead, and she ain't coming back.  I have seen to that personally.  R is grumpy but is becoming resigned to the whole idea.  He wants to "take a look" at the computer when he gets home from work tonight.  I told him to look as long as he likes - he doesn't know anything about computer hardware so I'm not too worried.  I will resort to outright sabotage if necessary.  After he looks, I will put in my final nudge - we have business stuff on that hard drive that needs to be transferred ASAP. 

As soon as I realized that I would be buying a new machine for real I had to decide what kind of system to buy.  Still smarting from the bad case design problem that is preventing me from fixing my current computer, I went to Best Buy to price their systems.  All of the computers I had any interest in had the same type of case design.  Those systems are meant for people who will never even open the case.  I am not one of those people, so I jumped on Newegg.com and found all the parts that I need to build a system that is 3.5 times faster than my old one.  Wow.  I am all a-twitter.

After I finalized my system design, I called my brother to boast about my new sweet machine.  He is jealous.  As he should be.

Signs You've Been Watching Too Much 24

I watched the first season of 24 on DVD in six days (oh the free time I had when I was childless!).  I also read the recaps on Television Without Pity.  So to sum up: that's four episodes (about 3.5 hours of TV - no commericals), followed by reading all the recaps of the shows that I had just watched.  God.  How did I do that?  I was totally hooked on the show and kept running back to the Blockbuster down the street to get my next fix (I was on one of those unlimited two-at-a-time plans back then).  Needless to say, by the time I finished I was so overloaded on 24 that I didn't give a shit who the spy was nor did I really care when the wife (by far my favorite character) snuffed it.   I fully intended to watch season 2, but never did.  Likewise with seasons 3 and 4.

This year, I realized that by dropping a few shows that I was watching last year, I had room in my schedule to add another show.  I called my sister at the last minute last Sunday and requested that she go ahead and set up a series recording for 24 for me.  I watched the episodes (it was a four hour, two part premiere) on Tuesday and Wednesday of last week and when I finished I feared that I was going to suffer from Too Much 24 in Too Short a Time syndrome YET AGAIN.  Will I never learn?

Without further adieu, here are the ways that you can tell if you've been watching way too much 24.

When you're staring at the clock waiting for your shift to be over, you hear the crazy metallic CHUNK, CHINK, CHUNK, CHINK and it sounds so realistic you look around to see if other people are hearing it too.

When you're lying in bed at night and you hear a car door slam outside and your first thought is, "Oh  my God, THE TERRORISTS!"

When your husband starts whining about the fact that you didn't make him dinner, your first impulse is to slam him into a wall, stick a gun in his face and say, "Look, the only reason you're still alive is because I don't want to have to drag your dead body around, so SHUT UP!"

When you realize that the reason you've been lusting after a messenger bag that you can sling over  your shoulder is because that's what Jack Bauer carries to hold his weapons*.

When contemplating my ever-mounting credit card debt, I'm like, where is my elite hacker coworker to make this all go away?

Truly, it is a sickness.  No one should watch too much 24.

*Sadly, the real reason I want a messenger style bag is because I need a purse big enough to carry an extra cloth diaper or two.  Right now I am using disposables as "emergency diapers" because my bag is not big enough to hold an extra cloth one.

The Chronicles of Narnia

My mother has agreed to babysit for me on Friday so that I can get a haircut and a facial and go to see a couple of movies.  I had three movies I wanted to see over the winter bread: The Producers, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, and The Family Stone.  I may end up skipping The Family Stone if time gets tight, but I'm really interested to see The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, because I was such a fan of the Chronicles of Narnia as a child.

Yesterday at work I was telling my friend how excited I was about seeing The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, and that I wanted to read the whole series over again.  He asked if I were going to read the first book in the series before I read The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, and I told him that The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe is the first book in the series.  He then pulled up this page, and I was shocked to discover that the publisher had indeed switched the books around, at least they did as far as I'm concerned, because I have a numbered set of books.  Here is a picture of my box set of The Chronicles of Narnia, minus The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (we will not even speak of the fruitless search I made through my entire library for these books that I haven't even looked at in probably 15 years, all the while the Moosh was "accidentally" whacking me with a golf club - ultimately the only one I couldn't find was the one I really wanted to read ARRGH).

Digging deeper into the Chronicles of Narnia web page, I found a schedule for the books as they were written and published.  Apparently, the set that I have (which is 36 years old) numbered and ordered the books by publication date, whereas the current order is "chronological" according to the timeline C.S. Lewis established in the story.  The books featuring Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy (or any combination thereof) have been broken up slightly in the new order, the set I have groups their story together and then introduces the "creation story" in The Magician's Nephew in book six.  The new order has The Magician's Nephew as the first book.

Here is the order in which my set is numbered:

1. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
2. Prince Caspian
3. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
4. The Silver Chair
5. The Horse and His Boy
6. The Magician's Nephew
7. The Last Battle

Here is the order of the current edition:

1. The Magician's Nephew
2. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
3. The Horse and His Boy
4. Prince Caspian
5. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
6. The Silver Chair
7. The Last Battle

I am absolutely baffled as to why they would change the order of the series.  I probably read it 10-15 times and it made perfect sense to me in the original order of publication.  I've searched around the internet and have been unable to determine the real reason for this change other than for the convenience of the "chronological order."  My friend suspected they put the creation story first so that when the children discover Narnia in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe people will understand what Narnia is.  My answer to that: when you discover a magical world in the back of a wardrobe, it doesn't really matter where it comes from.

I was too young (and too disinterested) to understand the biblical allegory in The Chronicles of Narnia when I read it last.  I find most of C.S. Lewis' Christian apologist writings boring and tedious, and I wonder if this piece of information wil utterly ruin the reading experience for me.  As soon as I find The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, I'll start reading it again.

The Christmas Stalker

Every year R and I have the same argument over Christmas/Holiday cards (being a good atheist, my cards wish people "Joy in the Season" or some such nonsense).  I hate the cards.  He loves the cards.  I refuse to send cards.  He reminds me that it is polite to send cards.  I always vow in early December that THIS YEAR I'm not going to engage in all the bother and expense of cards.   Then, inevitably, less than a week before the actual event that the cards are celebrating, R will ask me if I sent them.  Segue into the argument.

Of course, R has no responsibility other than nagging me about the damn cards.  He doesn't buy them, he doesn't collect the addresses, he doesn't make the labels, and he doesn't write the messages... he doesn't do anything.  I do. All of it.

The main problem I have is locating updating the addresses.  In this peripatetic society, everyone is moving all the goddamn time.  Changing their addresses.  It's madness, I tell you!  The fact that I procrastinate until the very last second doesn't help either.  Imagine getting an email from a friend you haven't heard from in (ahem) a year, five days before Christmas, asking for your address so that said friend can put you on her Christmas card list.  Then imagine that I am that crappy friend.  As you can see, this gets embarassing when it happens year after year.

Due to the nature of my inability to correspond appropriately with others, I have had to go underground in order to get updated addresses.  I have become The Christmas Stalker.  I've gotten pretty damn good at it, too.  Best place to find people's addresses? Tax appraisal records, bar none.   Voter registration rolls are also very useful.  As a last resort, I turn to the people searches featured on most major search engines. R is no help at all.  His complete inability to internalize his own friends' last names forces me to the ultimate in internet stalking tools: the reverse number lookup. 

I refuse to feel bad about it because a) I do not look like an ass, b) they are none the wiser, and c) they get a freaking christmas card out of it.

It's actually kind of frightening how easy it is to find this stuff.  Of course, the family is amazed at my abilities - I've always had a knack for ferreting out information.

Reading List

In a valiant attempt to keep myself from reading the Harry Potter series yet again, I decided to buy some new books.  I got a Barnes and Noble gift certificate for my birthday and I decided that I would put it to good use.

On Sunday I went to our local Barnes and Noble to see if I could find the following books:

• The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
• Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife by Peggy Vincent
• Birthing From Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Preparing for Childbirth by Pam England
• Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott

Clearly, I am boning up on my natural childbirth literature, and I've seen the Ginott book recommended several times recently by several AP parents.  Sadly, I failed to find even one of these books in the Childbirth and Parenting section of the local Barnes and Noble.  In fact, I only found one natural birth text (Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon) and the only positive discipline/AP books were the Sears books. 

There were about 1 million copies of the Girlfriend's Guide to Whatever, What to Expect When...,  celebrity baby books, a bunch of Brazleton, and a slew of child rearing manuals by Dr. James Dobson.  Seriously, Dobson's books took up several shelves.  He is a huge proponent of corporal punishment.  Retch.

Having found none of the books I wanted to buy, I left the store and went home, and ordered them all on the internet.   I was able to do this because I knew what books I was looking for.  But what about the first time expectant parents that don't know what they're looking for?  These are people that want to do everything right, so they go to the bookstore in search of parenting/birth books, and they find ones that promote the medicalized birth scenario and non-AP parenting styles. 

I'm not saying that homebirth and AP are for everyone, but there should be information available on it from more than one source in a bookstore.   

On the other hand, when I was a first time expecting mom, I knew all about the arguments against epidurals and so forth, but I chose to ignore that and go with the epidural, which was fine, but ultimately gave me a negative after birth experience.  Maybe if I'd read Spiritual Midwifery when I was pregnant, it would have given me the perspective to make a better decision for myself and the Moosh.

Oh well, too little, too late. But, I am hoping for better luck next time.

Indigo Girl's Question

Linda suggested that I make up my own random question.  Clearly, she missed the point of the exercise, but I like her so I'll do it anyway.  Unfortunately, I am still suffering from Blogger's Block to some degree and I can't come up with anything really good. So...

Lisa, what are you going to do this weekend?

I am going to the brand new Ikea to spend imaginary money.  I will use this imaginary money to buy awesome imaginary Ikea furniture and I'm going to redo my bedroom and the office!  It will be so great!  We will also eat Swedish food and let the Moosh play on their playland. 

Thanks!

If you have a burning question for me, leave it in the comments section and I'll answer it!

The Review (SPOILERS!!!)

OK, people, I put SPOILERS!!!! in the title, so if you choose to keep reading, be forewarned that there is information contained in this post that will totally ruin the book for you.  I don't want any whiny emails.

I'm warning you!

Stop now if you don't want to be SPOILED!

Well, Dumbledore died.  It was a shocker when I read the book the first time through.  However, once I got over the shock and read it again, I was able to really see the reasons behind is rather than be fixated on the death itself.   The death was a hard part to read, and I was ambivalent about the book the first time I read it.  Now that I've finished the second read, I love it, but for many different reasons.

I think one of Rowling's crowning achievements in this series is her excellent characterization and the sheer amount of growth we see in the characters from one book to the next.  I really felt that Harry had matured from the 5th to the 6th book, mainly because of Sirius' death.  When Harry was having that conversation with Dumbledore in the broom shed about how he'd realized that Sirius wouldn't have wanted him to shut down, that was a big leap in development for him, mainly because his parents' deaths did shut him down to some degree, but I think the subsequent relationship with the Weasleys healed a lot of that pain.  Not all of it, but enough to allow him to move forward in his emotional development even in the face of his godfather's death.

Ron and Hermione showed a great deal of maturity in this book as well.  Age was such a feature of this one, the coming of age at seventeen for both Ron and Hermione, the apparition tests and licenses, the boyfriends and girlfriends.  Herimone's misplaced outrage at the Half-Blood Prince and his potions abilities was particularly telling.  Her jealousy at being outshined in absentia was really funny.   I also liked the evolution and then rapid dissolution of Ginny and Harry's relationship.  I've always liked Ginny, and I wondered when this pairing was going to come about.  I am not surprised at the break-up, because it was necessary for the plot in the 7th book.

I loved the fact that Snape was a major character in this novel.  No, I don't think he's evil.  In fact, I think the act of killing Dumbledore was the hardest thing he's ever done.  He screams at Harry for calling him down: "DON'T CALL ME A COWARD!"  Because he truly is not a coward, but instead a monumental hero.  This act has made him, essentially, a mole in the highest echelons of Voldemort's organization, perfectly placed to act in the final part of the series.

Dumbledore never feared death.  He made this clear at the end of the 5th book when Voldemort has possessed Harry.  I believe that he viewed his own death as necessary to clear the way for Harry to take down Voldemort.  As long as Dumbledore stayed alive, Harry could take comfort and refuge in the fact that "the only wizard Voldemort ever feared" was on his side and was protecting him.   Dumbledore also knew that as long as he was in the picture, Harry would never garner the strength to break away and do what he needed to do.  I believe Dumbledore's death is a symbolic parallel to the 1st book: in the chess game Ron had to sacrifice himself in order for Harry to make the checkmate.  In this book, Dumbledore had to sacrifice himself to clear the way for Harry to kill Voldemort.  It was all part of the master plan.  Consequently, in the death scene, when he was pleading with Snape, he was pleading for Snape to kill him, not save him.

Harry is now positioning himself to find the Horcruxes and destroy Voldemort.  The reason he broke up with Ginny is symbolic, he was simply cutting his ties before going off to do his job.  He tried to cut off Hermione and Ron as well, but they overrode him.   In essence, I believe this is what Dumbledore was trying to teach him all year.  The difference between Harry and Voldemort is that Voldemort has no friends and works alone.  Harry, on the other hand, has forged relationships and has people who love him enough  to help, instead of people who simply fear him.  As Dumbledore said, it is Harry's capacity to love that will set him apart in the end.

I find it frightening how similar Harry and Tom Riddle are.  Both orphaned, both betrayed in that process, both brought up in places where nobody really cared about them.  And yet, they are a dichotomy in that same way, because one chose the path of good and one a path of evil.  Neither can live while the other survives. 

Of course, at the end of the book we have the mysteries: who is R.A.B?  Where are the other Horcruxes, particularly the one that R.A.B. took?

My sister figured it out first: R.A.B. is Regulus Black, Sirius' younger brother, who was killed by Voldemort when he tried to leave the Death Eaters.  We don't think that he actually managed to destroy the necklace, and that Mundungus Fletcher has absconded with it.  As for the other Horcruxes, who knows?  We'll have to find out in book 7.

So, the comments are open, please weigh in with your views, questions, whatever.