I am writing to you in order to rectify a situation that demands immediate attention. I will cut right to the chase. It is March. March is the time of year here in North Texas when the grass begins to grow, flowers begin to bloom, and the light stays a little bit longer each day. It is a beautiful month, full of new life.
You seem to be confused, however. You see, it is currently March 6, and it looks like this
outside. I must admit to being slightly scared. There is ice. Freezing to the ground. In March.
Does not compute.
Please rectify this error as soon as possible.
One of your loyal subjects