I wish I had it.
You know there are people who are cool and calm under pressure. Women who care for multiple children while their husbands are in Iraq, people who go to foreign countries and learn just enough of the language to get along with and groove with everyone even though they are out of their element, picky eaters who have enough social grace to eat what they are served instead of sitting silently throughout the meal and then returning to their rooms to cry, and people who listen to their spouses insane griping and then tell a joke to lighten the mood instead of crying and slamming the phone down.
As much of a dick as R is, 90% of it is a result of his current situation. I mean, the man hasn't had a day off in over a year. A YEAR. No wonder he's obessive and upset about everything. Intellectually l know that almost everything he says is due to stress, and I still overreact to it every. single. time. Why can't I just laugh and say, "Oh, I don't like it when the Moosh watches too much TV either. I really try to make sure that doesn't happen, but of course there's less to do here than at home. I'll try to make sure he spends more time with your family." Then R would have said, "OK, thanks." The end.
I am not saying that he shouldn't have curbed his comment. I don't like the fact that he is overly critical - it's a huge issue for me. However, I didn't have to let his comment affect me the way it did. Two days of crying, untold amounts of angst for his family, almost cutting the trip short. I wish there were a magic pill for overreacting. That's all I'm saying.
R has the same personality flaw though... he majorly overreacts to everything. As you can imagine, when we both jump on that train, that's when the wreck happens. We both just need to learn to chill and take things one day at a time. Classic example: R is worried about money. He starts laying into me, "We're broke! We're going to be out on the street! No one's going to give us a dollar to buy bread!" I feel attacked, so I start laying back into him, "You complain whenever I buy something, even when it's necessary! I hate this! We're not poor!" See, we overreact.
Instead I want to have grace under pressure. I want to be able to subvert my need to defend my position and resist the urge to jump on my soapbox. I want to be calm and collected and make rational comments, instead of just reacting.
Where's that magic pill?